Today we celebrate four years of marriage, but boy, you wouldn’t have known it was a happy day if you saw us this morning! I was pretty sure this was going to be an anniversary for the record books (and not in a good way), the way it was going. After each of our three children woke up multiple times through the night last night, we finally settled in for a few measly hours of sleep. Determined to make today better, I headed to the kitchen once Justin left for work, to get the girls breakfast. I was greeted with quite a lovely surprise of what seemed like half a bag of cheerios laying all over the floor. Yaaaay for independence!
(Que palm to face and every unholy word that comes to mind)
I got it all cleaned up and started to get everyone ready for the day. We were planning on meeting my sister in law and nieces for coffee and play time at the park. We were all looking forward to this since we hadn’t seen them in a year (they live in GA). As we were getting ready my middle child started getting stuffy and crying that she didn’t feel well, thus confirming that the baby was indeed sick and not just teething like we had hoped the last few days. Still we pushed ahead thinking the fresh air would do us good….and dang it, mama needed her some coffee! I got everyone out the door, only to get to the garage and realize my husband had the car. As I called to ask him to bring it home, I learned that he indeed could not and to top it off he let me know it was supposed to rain in less than 30 minutes anyway. UGH! Needless to say I was frustrated. It wasn’t even 10:00 am yet and I had had it. I wanted to throw in the towel and call it quits for the day! When I told the girls we had to go back upstairs and that we couldn’t go to the park to see their cousins, of course melt downs ensued, only adding to my defeated feeling. As if it couldn’t get any worse, shortly after I got a text from my husband addressing the manor in which I had been speaking to him. (I may or may not have been super duper kind while just on the phone with him) Point blank, I was down right rude. My frustration of the morning was taken out on him. My first thought at that text wasn’t exactly understanding and thankfulness, but more like “really, right now you want to work this out…I don’t have the capacity to deal with this right now!” Fortunately for us both, I didn’t voice those feelings, but instead just sat for a few minutes and thought about what he had said. You see, he didn’t come at me in a blaming, nagging way. He brought it up in the most kind, and gentle way possible. His first words were “I am in no way mad”, and his last words were “let me know if I can help”. (holy crud I married up) My selfishness only saw what was between those at first, but the more I let myself back away a little, the more I could see just how I had been treating him and not even realizing it. I was letting my daily stress and fatigue spill over onto him, rather than letting him be a place of rest and joy. Yet he still showed me unconditional love and immense grace.
So today on our fourth wedding anniversary, I say thank you Justin. Thank you for loving me so well, even when I know I may make it hard. Every day, you love me with more grace, selflessness, mercy, tenderness, passion, and kindness than I deserve. Thank you for building me up during my weak times, and working with me to fight for us. Thank you for taking over when I have had too much. Thank you for providing for us and working so hard. Thank you for being so patient when I feel overwhelmed, and for loving me just as I am. Most importantly, thank you for loving Jesus like you do, and for showing us what that looks like in every single way you love us. I am so grateful for you. I made the best decision four years ago and I would say yes over and over. Happy anniversary, I love you!